Thursday, 26 April 2018

single man wisdom

Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed Reclaimed
STORIES jumper*, ASOS trousers*, ALL SAINTS jacket, ASOS bag*, VANS old skool

Photos by Hannah

Ah, let's talk about exes. My favourite. Someone said something to me which inspired this blog post, so let's cover that first. I had been seeing someone (very relaxed, nothing more than mates who get drunk and well... yes) so we tend to chat about shitty men and other guys I've been more seriously dating etc and he gives me his manly two cents. Anyway, I told this guy that I had briefly started seeing my ex again. YES I KNOW ALRIGHT. The slightly sociopathic (or not, whatever he says) one, not mr 8 years. Anyway, he knew all about the whole situation with him when we'd ended before and he literally just looked at me mid-way through me justifying why I'd gone there and said:

       "you do know there's other men.."

Alright mate, of course there's other men. What's your point? And then it struck me that he really hit the nail on the head with single men wisdom. In essence; I've yet to date someone who seems even vaguely hung up over it ending, or willing to give it another go, fight for it or think it's worth more than calling it quits at an early stage. The reality probably being that they all know there's a million other single girls and they'll find some of my qualities in someone else, so why bother with the chase? I GET IT NOW.

So, how does this relate to my ex? Well, his point was why on earth am I trying again with the same guy who treated me badly at the end of our relationship (admittedly I loved him when we were together, and was very happy) when there are millions of other single men who possess the same things I loved about him, but maybe less of the things I didn't. And that kind of just felt like an outright punch in the face because it literally spoke to me lol. 

I think as women, specifically me in general, we fight for something if we think it's worth it. I never seem to quit anything, even if I bloody hate it. I stuck out the worst year of my life at art college because I couldn't face giving up, stayed in a relationship that had many faults for eight years, carried on seeing people I knew weren't fussed about me because I saw potential - good and bad for me, situation dependent. I guess this was no different, I remembered how happy I'd been the first time around and thought maybe it could work now - better timings, we knew each other really well, lived close etc. Well I was wrong, I'll leave it as people don't change. Soz about it. For the most part, people don't want to change either - as their way of doing things works for them. Even if it sucks for you.

So yes, if you're out there struggling - do you know there's other men?? Chances are you'll find one when you're not really expecting anything, eventually. I hope. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and that you should also fight for what you want in life. If after fighting it still doesn't work, well sack it off. It probably wasn't meant to be. I've tried pretty hard to make things I believe in work lately, and if when it still doesn't, I've attempted to slop my feelings to one side and tried to scrape back any dignity I might have left and walk away from it. Hard but a life lesson eh. Sometimes people just aren't worth your efforts, maybe.

The end, enough blabbering.

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