Wednesday, 13 February 2019

thoughts on online dating

irrelevant lingerie photos, body from PLT

Ah, online dating. Is there any other way to meet people now? 

My story with online dating began I became single (obvs) and to be honest, I'm pretty sure the first thing I did after wiping my tears was download Tinder. Now, before you judge me - I work for myself, I don't meet people in the office. I have the same group of friends and frankly, I'm the instigator in doing things for the most part. I also have ME, so often miss out on going out etc. I really didn't think there was any way I'd meet someone new otherwise.

The first couple of months were weird, I didn't know what I wanted or what I was looking for and I never knew just how damn picky I was. I'm the first person to point out every flaw possible within myself, yet I didn't think I saw others like that. Here I was swiping past people for simply having 'weird eyebrows' or an ugly outfit on. Legit. Anyway, I did match with a few and that was fun, you can read more about dating herehere and here

I have friends who are so vehemently against using apps to date. Whether it be down to snobbery or simply not feeling safe talking to a stranger, it's their call. I on the other hand, actively encourage them but there are a few things I do find concerning.

1. I think we're becoming too judgemental. As I mentioned earlier, we're now examining people down to their choice in friends and shirts. We seem to have potentially lost that spark. We don't all end up with people we find fit our 'type' and yet Tinder/Bumble don't allow for that as if you're not instantly attracted to them you simply won't match with them.

2. It can be unsafe. I got very lucky in that all the men I met whilst dating were pretty normal and any that set off the slightest alarm didn't make it past the 'unmatch' button. There are some horror stories out there, but nonetheless I believe that not everyone is awful and as long as you keep your wits about you, make sure someone knows where you are (drop a live pin on WhatsApp!) and if anything flags then leave or stop speaking to someone then you can remain safe. Don't ever meet someone without doing some background research. It doesn't make you weird, it makes you wise!

On the brightest note, I met Kim on Bumble and he's a literal light of actual joy. We've discussed how our paths would never have crossed otherwise, so it just proves there are good humans on there. Just do it wisely eh!

lots of love xxx
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